Smitten Kitten

31 Jan

How are you doing, really?

I just got home from our CS Small Group, and felt the need to write down all the things I was able to take home tonight.

I just thought maybe you’d want to hear them, too. :)

—-

So we started off our discussion with a question that immediately created squeaky silence in the room, because it’s one of those questions that says, “Wake up, sleepyhead!”

“What should you have achieved or experienced first before you can say you’re ready to face death?”

And to that, I only had two answers. I’m not sure if I’ve thought of them well enough but they were undoubtedly top of mind:

1. I want to get married. I really, really do to such an extent that when people ask me what my dream is, that has probably become my most honest answer.

2. I want to point more people back to God more than I have turned away. (With this, I’m not sure my sentence is perfect grammatically, but I hope you get what I’m trying to say.)

Keeping in mind my ultimate goals in life—of course, also being open to better ones coming my way, we were asked another mind-boggling question:

“Is what you’re living for today worth dying for tomorrow?”

Probably not?

And the thing is, a lot of us—or at least I—have this paralyzing tendency to live life blindly. We go on our days thinking we’re doing (more than) fine, but if and when we look at the bigger picture and realize that life isn’t and shouldn’t be all about us (our happiness, our selfish ambitions, our great need to prove ourselves to other people, etc.), we get slapped in the face as we see how much we’re falling far behind in the race going to where we’ve always truly dreamed to be.

And as for me, I must admit that I haven’t been living a life of purpose these past few weeks, or maybe even months. I say this because I’ve felt what it’s like to dream bigger than myself, and it had been so wonderful and full of love and grace and so much possibilities. But then, how typical it is for me/us to to go back to that small world we delude ourselves to calling our own!

I guess the reason why I’m writing this entry (besides the fact that I truly have missed writing) is because I also want you to take the time and pause for a bit, and reflect on how you’re doing. On how you’re really doing. And on that note, I’ll end this entry with a quote I like to use A LOT when talking to people about life:

“How we live our days is how we live our lives.” - Annie Dillard

Make your days count! :)

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