Smitten Kitten

02 Feb

Today's Must-Read: ON BEING MARRIED IN COLLEGE!

leeyounger:

emilyruthwest asked:

Hey Lee! I was told to pick your brain about something… what are your thoughts about college students being married? Let’s say around senior year/just out of undergrad school. I want your full, honest opinion. On two students who are in love, live for Christ, and have briefly discussed the option and are searching for the advice of others. Give me all you’ve got.

..

 

So I Said:

Hey Emily! First of all, you rock. You know I think you rock, but I wanted to say it anyway. So cool to have a question from a person I know face to face! 

Okay, so here’s the deal: A lot of well-meaning and really sweet Christians will tell you that you have to graduate college before you get married. They say that as if it’s an actual U.S. law, written on the books in some courthouse somewhere. What I mean is, they don’t even really think about any other possibilities, because waiting until you finish college and start your life is a sensible and responsible thing to do in a culture that values higher education so much. The thinking here runs along these lines: “We all waited, so why shouldn’t you?” and then, there’s the ever-popular, “If you get married in college, you’ll start having kids and you won’t finish school.” Some folks wait until they graduate, work their job for a while and have the money to buy a good family car or even pay off their house before they get married, because this is like, super-duper-sensible.  

And Emily, that right there is the key… it’s sensible. It’s not Biblical.

Here’s a little secret: Christy and I got married in college. (Actually, it’s not a secret at all… in fact, I just told the whole internet!) But seriously, when my wife and I started dating, we talked about marriage immediately. We were only high school graduates heading off to college, but we wanted to marry each other. We wound up dating for three years anyway and we literally talked about marriage that whole time. I remember asking some men in my church about the whole marriage/college thing, and every single one of them said that I needed to wait until we graduated because that was the wise thing to do. Now, to be perfectly honest, I was freaking out because I just wanted to be married to my girl! So, I went to my pastor and said, “Hey, every man in this place tells me the wisest thing to do is wait until I graduate to get married… is that in the Bible? What does the Bible say about it?” And my pastor told me two things that changed my life, and here they are right here:

1. “In 1 Corinthians 7, Paul says it’s better to get married than to burn with desire.”
2. “Tina and I got married when we were in college and it was awesome.”

Well, that right there was enough for me! That 1 Corinthians verse was exactly where I was living! Not only that, but my pastor’s marriage was the sweetest, truest, most amazing relationship I had ever personally witnessed, and if they got married in college, then it must be okay. After that, I secured a ring, proposed and seven months later, we were married in college. Let me tell you this: In my personal experience, being married in college was the coolest, sweetest, most fun thing ever. We loved it. But not only that, it turned out that my senior year of college was to be the hardest year I had ever faced personally, and because I was married, I didn’t have to face it alone. God took care of me through her. 

Here’s the deal: There is no Scripture that says college people have to wait until graduation to get married. In fact, when the Bible was being written, teenagers were getting married! The Bible says there’s nothing wrong with the desire you feel for your man, or your longing to be together - in fact, all that desire is from God Himself as a gift, and it’s better to get married and go ahead and learn all about that gift in the right environment than to squander and stain it while you struggle to make it to some arbitrary and unbiblical finish line.  

I will say this, though: Even though the Bible doesn’t say anything about when you ought to get married as far as your timeline, it is very clear about knowing what you’re getting in to and being ready for it. Marriage is about laying down your life, period. Marriage is for a man of God and a woman of God who want to give their lives to Him and to each other in sacrificial service. That’s the kind of love that makes marriage work, and it’s amazing. It will fill you up and change your life, and it will also cost you everything. It’s the highest price for the highest yield. If you two are ready to commit your whole lives to each other, to love and serve Christ together and serve one another until you are dead, I’m not gonna stand in your way. (Plus, I love your man. He’s a rock star and he’s gonna make an excellent husband for a very deserving girl)

Go to the Lord together on this thing and ask Him to guide you on what is the right timeline for you guys. Do whatever He leads you to do. Line up some awesome pre-marital counseling from someone you trust who has a sweet marriage and knows the Scriptures… (and by the way, I’m available for that if you don’t have someone in mind) and then go for it. I’m excited for you guys… There is simplynothing in the world like being married and loving Jesus together with your best friend! 

The Lord bless you and keep you both.

(Source: leeyounger)

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