If you really walk with Jesus you will be in a constant state of reinvention.
Pastor Steven Furtick (via followandreblog)
You know how sometimes you don’t really deserve to do something, but you do it anyway because you can’t help it?
I’m going to be like that in a few seconds, or minutes, maybe. I’m going to write about something I haven’t fully learned yet, something that I even tend to suck at at times. But I’m going to do it anyway because it feels like I’m going to burst if I don’t. And also because putting it on paper—arranging my messy thoughts and declaring them out loud—might, after all, help me be where I should be.
And so it begins.
I slept last night and woke up today with one thing in mind: Relationships. And, no, not just relationships in general, although I like that, too. But relationships in a romantic, butterfly-in-your-stomach, let’s-grow-old-together sense. And what about relationships, you might ask? Quite unfortunately, a lot. (I honestly wish there was just one so this entry could be more tied up and coherent.)
- What should I be really looking for in a guy?
- Am I raising the bar too high, or am I setting it a bit low?
- What does it mean to wait?
- Am I really waiting on God, or just waiting for someone?
- What about this season of singleness?
- How long is this going to last?
Obviously, I hunger for so many answers. And after how many hours spent consciously or subconsciously figuring things out, I only have come up with one umbrella answer: Don’t worry about it. And that goes for each and every one of my lingering questions.
The thing is, I’m not really one to say “stop overthinking things” as I know of some people who could seriously use some of their brain cells to re-evaluate where they’re going before they miss out on the kind of life that is worthy to be lived. But, right here in this situation, I command myself to do just that.
Having a list of things to look for in a husband is a good thing. It means you have standards that you don’t want to bend as much as possible. It means that you know what you want, and you’re not going to sell yourself short. But, at the same time, I figured that maybe we’re already too caught up with our list for our future partner, that we’ve hurriedly made that one first even before thinking of making one for ourselves… for the kind of woman we really need to become, before we’re even ready to meet the man who will one day fill the shoes we asked our little elves to make.
And whether or not our standards are a bit too high or too low at this point—I guess the answer to that will always be subjective. Some people might think you’re being ridiculous and unreasonable. Some, one the other hand, might think you just keep settling for what’s comfortable and so aww, poor you. But what’s important is that we acknowledge that we can never place our full confidence in the decisions that we’ve made and are going to make, because this is where we see how little we are compared to God. We’re human, let’s face it, and even the brightest people out there are still prone to making faulty decisions every now and then. But the brighter side of only being created is that, if anything, our Creator is a God, who loves us immensely, who’s in control, who makes sure that all things will work together for the good of those who sincerely love Him. So, our love story doesn’t really just begin the moment we meet or marry the one, because we already have The One, and He’s always been here for us. I know that that may sound *blech* but its implications on our lives are way too significant to miss.
Because of this great assurance that we can find in God’s greatness, we can have peace, knowing that our choices in life need not be the only things that will determine our destiny, because with God, there is truly no dead end. He can turn around your mistakes if you let Him, just as He can transform your mourning into dancing with just one sweet song. :)
And as for questions about waiting, there’s one thing I’m been learning to embrace with a smile on my face (at long last :p). It’s that when you wait, you don’t just do nothing. It’s the opposite, actually. It could even be your most productive season. Because your waiting period, even though it may occasionally feel horrible at times, especially during your dreadful PMS days, could make you find, not really the one, but someone exponentially more important: yourself. And on that note is where I’ll be ending this post.
True security, besides being found in God, is not in finding the right one but in being the right one. And when you’ve become the right one, I think that’s when everything can finally fall into place. You, God, and your husband-to-be. And hopefully, a purpose-filled forever. <3
(Resources/Inspirations: Pastor Steven Furtick’s podcasts from Elevation Church + Relevant Magazine’s articles on dating and life + When God Writes Your Love Story by Eric and Leslie Ludy + brilliant friends + personal experiences.)
Personal growth doesn’t always mean adding on, but rather removing things from your life.
Steven Furtick, Elevation Church (via nicamden)
God does not call you to be good; He calls you to be great.
God never called you to merely keep rules or color within the lines. He calls you to have a personal vision for your life, and to rally your resources around that vision. He calls you to fight, and to do great exploits for His glory.
Most of us think of our struggles – our circumstances, obstacles, and enemies – as walls. But they are not; they are DOORS. Doors to the next level in your relationship with God. Doors that lead to a new horizon of His favor. They’re the necessary passageways through which all of us must pass through to get to the place God is taking us to. And until you go through them, you can’t get there.
“Walls or Doors” by Steven Furtick
What do you do when you can’t see God working in your situation? You trust that He is anyway.